


The Advisor and The Shield

by darkmaga (whileitrains)



Series: The Aftermath [1]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Established Relationship, Fluff, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Post-Canon, and yes, as am i, heavy spoilers of the ending, summary has spoilers too, they are coping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-14 12:34:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29667357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whileitrains/pseuds/darkmaga
Summary: As members of the crownsguard, there was pride to be had. Proud to have served the True King, proud of the hero he became, proud of his sacrifice. As his friends, there was only heartbreak.
Relationships: Gladiolus Amicitia/Ignis Scientia
Series: The Aftermath [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2180091
Kudos: 15





	The Advisor and The Shield

**Author's Note:**

> I finished the game not long ago and I needed a way to cope with Noctis' death. It hurts too much, y'all T-T
> 
> I can't stress enough how self-indulgent this is. Still, I hope you enjoy reading it!

The clock read 3:17 a.m. when Ignis jolted awake, gasping for air. 

Immediately he reached out to feel his surroundings, looking to reassure to himself that there was no threat. His right hand eventually landed on his partner's chest, feeling it slowly rise and fall under his palm as Gladio breathed evenly in his slumber. His body gradually relaxed as he focused on the sound of his lover’s light snoring. If Gladio could sleep so soundly, then they were safe. Ignis shut his eyes, trying to slow down his own breathing.

He realized he must’ve been leaning onto the other’s chest a tad harder than he intended when he felt the man stir next to him. Before he could contemplate retreating his hand, however, a warm, callous hand gently came to position itself over it.

Gladio grunted as he made his way to consciousness, slowly blinking sleep out of his eyes, adjusting to the dimly lit room. The never ceasing streetlights of Lestallum always seeped through their curtains to keep them company even through the night, Gladio sometimes complained. They had gotten possession of a small house in the city when it became their last bastion against the perpetual darkness, and they decided to continue to live there even after dawn had finally come.

“Iggy?” Gladio asked hoarsely, focusing his eyes on the figure sitting next to him. He lifted his other hand and placed it on Ignis’ back. “You ok?”

Ignis mildly nodded, trying to reassure him. “Yes.” He reaffirmed. “It was just a bad dream. I didn’t mean to disturb you.” 

Gladio stared at him, assessing him for a brief moment before proceeding to sit up. He moved his hand from the small at his back to cup his partner's face, trying to get a good look at him. "Just talk to me, Iggy." he pleaded.

Ignis sighed at his half-hearted attempt to deceive him, but whatever hesitation he felt to share his mind melted with the warmth in Gladio's voice. He leaned into his touch. “I know. I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t be.” Gladio replied, caressing his cheek. It still stood out to Ignis, despite being together for so many years, how soft Gladio’s voice could be when away from prying eyes. For a moment, the sentiment managed to distract him from his woes. 

Gladio retreated his hand and shifted to make himself comfortable with his back leaning against the headboard. He gently pulled at Ignis’ wrist, signaling for him to follow. “Come ‘ere.” he encouraged. 

Ignis did not need to be told twice, following suit. The taller man welcomed him with an arm ready to wrap around him, allowing his partner to comfortably lean on him. Ignis leaned his head on his shoulder and rested his eyes again, frowning as he tried to stop his racing thoughts from spiraling out of control. His hair slipped onto his face, but Gladio was quick to tenderly brush it back behind his ear. A sigh escaped him at the caring touch, a feeling of safety overcoming him, allowing his shoulders to release some tension.

“Sounds like it was a pretty rough one.” Gladio pointed out, noting Ignis’ distress. He started to rub Ignis’ arm, hoping to help him relax.

“Nothing new.” Ignis replied, his head never leaving the other’s shoulder, exhaustion seeping into his voice. Gladio hummed in understanding, frowning. Ignis could almost hear the troubled look in the man’s eyes as he felt his body tense against him. 

It still saddened him sometimes, not being able to see his partner’s handsome face. He often wondered how ten years changed his face. It didn’t feel any different to Ignis, but he wondered if he could find with touch alone the gradual changes age brings about. He could definitely tell his hair was longer, and he was curious as to how a longer-haired Gladio looked. With his hair put up, or put down, or his bedhead. His imagination had to be enough to satiate his curiosity, but he found he quite liked the look on his imaginary Gladio. 

With one of his hands he searched for the other’s, and he gently rubbed his knuckles with his thumb in support. 

“Noct again, huh…?” Gladio speculated. Ignis simply hummed in confirmation. This time it was Gladio’s turn to let out a sigh. 

Noctis. He was still a delicate subject for both of them. Six months had passed, but it still felt too recent. Finding their friend impaled at the throne, lifeless, still haunted their nights and days. He still remembers the whimpering sound that left Prompto’s mouth as tears overwhelmed him when he processed the sight before them. He remembers Gladio immediately reaching for his hand, looking for a comforting presence. Gladio struggled for words, but he didn’t need to say anything, Ignis knew from their reactions alone. _‘It’s done.’,_ he had simply told him.

They thought they were ready for it. They had ten years to brace for it, after all, but it was just an illusion to cope with the impending reality. An illusion that crumbled down the moment it finally happened. 

Ignis still reminisced too often of their last night at camp, the sadness in Noct’s trembling voice, his last _‘Thank you.’_ He still pictured his tender smile every time he looked back. As a child, as a young adult, and the one he never got to see, as their King. He wondered what crossed his mind as he breathed his last. He wondered if he was in pain. 

A part of him wished he had been beside him to offer comfort, but he knew he couldn’t have bore it. Noct knew none of them should have, and so he decided to leave their world unseen. 

Ignis did not get to choose how he lived his life, but he believes he would not have chosen any other path. His six year old self immediately embraced his duty and swore to watch over the prince without hesitation. He felt grateful it had been him, and he felt that way every time he remembered a three year old Noct taking his hand with a bright smile, a twenty-six year old memory.

He still wished to this day that Noct had gotten to live out his life, even if he perfectly understood why he couldn’t. Leading them, shield and advisor always at his side. Their king, their dear friend, the boy, the man, always with a heart full of kindness despite the cruel fate the gods had arranged for him. Noctis was robbed of _so much,_ and it still hurt deep in his heart that he never got a chance at happiness. Not in life, at least. Even if just to find solace, he wanted to believe that wherever their friend found himself now, the gods would give him the chance to find joy at last. And he hoped they would one day reunite with him, there..

As members of the crownsguard, there was pride to be had. Proud to have served the True King, proud of the hero he became, proud of his sacrifice. As his friends, there was only heartbreak.

Sleep was hard to find in the first few days after the fact --for him, for Gladio, and for Prompto specially-- but it became easier as weeks went by, as they kept their minds busy with the rebuilding efforts. Nightmares never vanished, however, they only become less frequent. Slowly, but surely. Even Gladio, although less often as of late, sometimes woke up screaming. It scared Ignis to no end at first, afraid they were being attacked and he couldn’t sense the culprit, but eventually he learned to help them both through the episodes. _A grim_ _thing to get used to_ , he noted. 

“What was it, this time?” Gladio asked him, breaking the silence they had fallen into. He placed a kiss on Ignis’ forehead.

The nightmares came in a more quiet manner for Ignis, like tonight. But Gladio would always somehow wake up to comfort him. They weren’t always about Noctis, but it was a common subject for both of them, and some were worse than others. 

“Details are starting to get fuzzy…” he started. Both of them spoke softly, wary of disturbing the night’s quietude. He kept his eyes closed--exhaustion kicked in all at once the moment he let his body relax. “But you know how it goes.” 

\-------------------------------------------------------------

They aren’t always the same, the nightmares, but they followed quite a similar pattern. Joy, then a hit of reality. This time they were all together again, back on the Regalia. Noctis is alive, he’s laughing. Prompto and Gladio tease him, and Noctis makes snappy comebacks. Ignis feels happy, at peace.

Then Noctis disappears. They panic when they realize he’s gone. Ignis stops the car and suddenly they find themselves in front of the palace. The three of them run inside and make their way to the throne room, and they find him. He looks older, tired. His father’s sword is piercing the ground before him.

 _“I love you all. Luna, guys…”_ Ignis barely hears him, but he does. _“Dad…”_

Then they arise, the spirits of the past kings of Lucis, surrounding the true king. The King he’s supposed to protect. The boy he swore to protect. Dread pools at the bottom of his stomach as he realizes what’s coming, and oxygen fails him.

“No, wait! Noct!” he yells out desperately. Noctis can’t hear him. He looks around for Gladio and Prompto, but they disappear. He tries to take a step forward, but his legs don’t listen. 

Noctis cries out in pain.

The spirits are charging towards him, _impaling_ him. He holds on to his father’s sword like a lifeline. “Noct!” Ignis looks on in horror. “Please, leave him alone!” He begs, but the onslaught does not cease, no mercy shown towards the true king. 

Silence fills the room for a minute. Ignis looks around, feels relieved that at the very least Noct seemed to still be breathing. _I need to help him_ . He tried going forward again, but he still wouldn’t move from his spot. _Please, let me at least hold his hand_.

Ignis looked up again. Noctis was doubled over, barely holding up his sword with one hand. _“Dad… Trust in me…”_ Ignis heard him. _Gods, I can hear the pain in his voice_. “Noct…” he felt tears trickling down his own face, but he wasn’t in a mind to care. 

Then King Regis’ spirit appeared, in front of Noctis, his son, sword ready to--

“No, no, no! Your majesty, _please_ , stop!”

But it was pointless, he knew that. It always was. And so King Regis charged forward, effectively ending his son’s life.

Then he wakes up.

\-------------------------------------------------------------

As Ignis recalled his dream, his body tensed up again, but in turn Gladio held him closer, rubbed his arm a little gentler, placed small kisses on his face. Ignis held his hand a little tighter. His eyes watered, a couple of tears escaping down his cheeks, but Gladio was there to wipe them away. 

Ignis wasn’t a stranger to dreams like this, but they never got easier. He stood impotent before Noctis, doomed to watch him die again and again, ever since the ring revealed to him his fate. 

When Ignis finished his description, he sighed again, holding back as many tears as he could manage. He buried his face in Gladio’s neck again, as if trying to hide. “Hey…” Gladio whispered in his hair, “It’s okay. You’re okay.” He kissed the top of his head. Ignis squeezed his hand in response, grateful. They were quiet for a while after that, processing their thoughts.

“That damned ring didn’t have enough with taking your sight.” Gladio spoke first, tone low and angry, but not at Ignis. “It had to curse you with watching Noct die, too.” Ignis felt the grip on his arm tighten momentarily, but he loosened it again immediately.

Ignis hummed in response, pondering. “You’re right, but…” he trailed off, not sure Gladio would want to hear it.

“But what?” 

Ignis sighed. “At the time I was just grateful they didn’t take my life.” From what he had heard about the Kingsglaive back in Crown City, he was ready to give up his life. And he knew Gladio had to know as well.

He heard his lover’s breath hitch for a moment, then breathing deeply again to let out a sigh. “I know,” he admitted, “But that doesn’t stop me from getting angry.” he said sullenly. 

“I know.” Ignis reassured him with an affectionate chuckle, placing a quick kiss on his jaw. Even if he couldn’t feel the same way, he understood. He was happy to have saved Noct, but maybe he’d be angry, too, if it had been Gladio in his place. Although he does wish the older man hadn’t directed his anger at Noct, or that he had at least intervened sooner. But there was no point in regrets now.

“I do feel bad, Iggy, you know?” Gladio started. 

“What for?” he inquired.

“For taking it out on Noct back then.” he admitted, begrudgingly. 

“Oh.” 

“Now that I know I was pretty much rushing him into his death…” he said, a bleak tone to his voice.

“Oh, my love... ” Ignis quickly sat up. He turned to sit facing Gladio, cupping his cheek with one of his hands. “You couldn’t know that. If anything, I should’ve told you what I saw sooner.” 

Gladio leaned into the touch. “Whether I knew or not, it doesn’t matter, you know that.” He sighed, halting the discussion. “I shouldn’t have taken it out on him. He didn’t need me being an asshole, he needed a friend.” he concluded, shaking his head. “Even if the damned kid was as good as a rock at expressing himself.” he chuckled fondly.

“Apparently you weren’t much better.” Ignis teased, a fond smile on his face.

His partner laughed. “Yeah, I deserve that.” 

“Regardless of your reasoning,” Ignis continued. “I’m sure he forgave you, Gladio.” He kissed his forehead. 

Gladio smiled fondly at him. He momentarily parted with Ignis’s palm to place a kiss on it. “I know. I just don’t know if that makes me feel better or worse.” he said with a humorless chuckle. “I never apologized properly, after all.”

Ignis leaned forward, leading Gladio forward as well so that their foreheads met in the middle. He cupped the older man’s cheek again to lead him into a tender, short kiss. “We should visit him,” Ignis suggested. “You can apologize then.” 

Gladio smiled. “Better late than never, huh?” 

“Exactly my thoughts.” Ignis said, smiling. 

Gladio chuckled as he pulled him back towards himself by cupping his cheek with his hand, meeting his lips with a longer, more passionate kiss. He shifted his hand back to tangle it between Ignis’ hair, and ran his other hand down his back, eventually settling on his waist, pressing him even closer. Ignis did not hesitate to comply. He cupped Gladio’s face with both of his hands, doing just the same.

They spent a few minutes like that. Parting briefly, then coming back for more. Ignis’ favorite place found itself in Gladio’s arms. In them he felt safe, loved. He reveled in his tender smiles and kisses, in intimate strokes and whispered sweet nothings. He tried his best to return every gesture in kind, basking in the content hums he got in response. 

They shifted to lie down, Ignis on top, resting his head in the nook of Gladio’s neck, the latter holding him in place with a hand on the small of his back, and holding each other’s hand at the side. He placed small kisses on his jaw, his neck, Gladio’s beard tickling his face. He relished the sound of his heartbeat, his warmth, a comforting reminder of the fact that he was right next to him.

When he thought of their life in moments like this, he felt hopeful. It was in moments like this when thinking of Noctis didn’t bring him sadness. Instead, he thanked him, for the opportunity he had gifted them, the chance to live in a better world.

“Alright. We’ll go.” he agreed. “We haven’t visited his grave in a while, have we?” Gladio retook their conversation from earlier, a frown taking over his face. He moved to lie on his side so he could face his partner. He brushed his hair with his fingers.

Ignis’ face lost its smile, as well. “Indeed.” he agreed. “I guess… it’s still quite painful, isn’t it?” he said, tears threatening to spill once again. “Talking to a gravestone, and not to his face.” he smiled sadly.

Gladio rubbed away at the tears accumulating in his partner’s eyes. “Yeah.” he matched his sad smile. “It’s not the same without his witty comebacks.” he added. “But, we’ll have to start getting used to it. We can’t keep running away from the feeling.” He caressed Ignis’ face with his thumb.

“I know.” Ignis admitted. He took a deep breath. “I miss him so much, Gladio.” he said, voice cracking.

“Oh, Iggy.” Gladio said immediately. He pulled Ignis closer, embracing him. He rubbed his back tenderly, and placed a kiss on top of his head. Ignis buried his face in his chest. He fought a losing battle against his tears, as they started to flow freely out of his eyes. 

“Me too.” Gladio finally added. 

They tried for six months to avoid confronting reality. To avoid _feeling,_ because losing a life-time friend is soul-crushing, but as Crownsguard they felt a duty to face it head on and prove to the world that they were over it. The result was a constant internal conflict, but eventually, Ignis concluded that they valued him first and foremost as a friend, and that they needed to start embracing grief and moving on. 

Ignis realized Gladio was letting himself grieve for the first time in a while, too, when the sound of muffled sniffles made way to his ears. He pulled back slightly from the strong embrace to hold his face and kiss away the tears trickling down his cheeks. 

Gladio held his wrists in his hands, tenderly rubbing at them with his thumb. 

“I love you, Iggy.” he declared, a tone full of affection. He sounded like Ignis felt, drowsy, sleep coming back to claim them. 

Ignis smiled as he pressed their lips together for a gentle, lazy kiss.

“And I love you, my love.” he responded. 

They held each other, with soothing kisses and touches, until sleep found its way to them once again. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> My writing still needs a lot of improvement, but I hope you enjoyed it regardless. I'd love to hear your thoughts and any feedback you may have :D
> 
> Posting in a series because I might write more of these, but don't quote me on that.


End file.
